Categories : The Daily Grain


Dealing with trauma that is beyond your control. #beyourownguru #BYOG

Video Transcription…

Today let’s go over to the more sombre side of life and talk about dealing with trauma. And this is trauma that is beyond your control, where you lose a job or someone you are close to passes on. Life has a way of blindsiding us sometimes.

So what you do then? How do you cope? How do you use your consciousness to somehow stabilize yourself. So that’s what we’re going to talk about.

In the first instance, grief is a part of life. In our human condition it’s pretty much a prerequisite because our time on earth is finite, whether we want to accept our mortality or not, this is just the way things are, and we eventually will lose people, we will have to move from situations we love, we have to give up things we love and that is traumatic.

So grieving is actually natural, it is healthy and it is important to allow that process in your life, to allow yourself to grieve in the first place.

A lot of us think we should be strong or a lot of us think because a relationship wasn’t quite the way we would like it or it was conflicted that we shouldn’t grieve or we do not permit ourselves to grieve and that is never recommended.

Because your soul needs to release those feelings and if you keep them locked down no releasing is going to take place.

So consider this grieve, cry and scream, somehow find an outlet for those strong emotions within you. And it could be mixed in with anger, with possibly hatred, you know, we are complicated beings, it could be any .and all of the above. The important thing is to find that outlet and to, vent, really.

And once you are able to do that the other key thing is to not stay there. To not hang on to your grief and despair and longing for things to be different.

Things are what they are.

So in the midst of those grief stricken stages you want to come to an acceptance that this is the way it is. Simply because it is. If you don’t accept it it’s not going to change it, right?

Through your grieving and accepting the final phase is to just release it.

So again, all very well for me to say release it – how??

This is how.

It is really simple. You make a decision to release it. You make a decision for yourself that this phase of your life, the experiences you had, those are now closed. Done with. And that is a conscious decision that you would need to make.

You cannot actually release anything or anyone until you have decided that for yourself.

And it is much better for you to do that than for someone else to forcibly make that decision for you and either uproot you or remove themselves from your life. No matter how horrible that was ultimately you still have to live your life and the best possible way to live your life is in peace, is in happiness if you can manage it.

But as a very minimum peace and tranquility, and you will not get that if you hang on to what has been traumatic, whether it was recent or whether it was far back in your past.

So today, even if it’s, not even, more so if it is painful to remember what that trauma was, don’t remember it – just make a decision to let it go.