Categories : Relationships The Daily Grain

 

So sometimes when you hold your limits quite strongly, as you should if they are reasonable limits, people think you might be hardhearted or cold-blooded etc etc. The world does not give kudos to independence and free thinking, it appears!

So let’s blast that myth right away. Blast it away right now is what I want to say.

Because it is not only possible to care very deeply about people and still have your boundaries it is actually absolutely necessary. As they say good fences make good neighbors.

And when you are aware of your boundaries, when you have set them appropriately and when you hold to them and when you have the confidence that you are able to hold to them you actually are able to give of yourself more.

The reason most people hold back in life or hold their positions very rigidly or dogmatically is because they fear letting go. They fear what might happen if they let someone in. Because they are not very sure about where they end and the other person begins.

So contrary to conventional thinking, holding on to your boundaries, knowing what they are, is actually *more* conducive to warm and open relationships than the reverse.

Because when you are secure within yourself when you are secure in that core of you, which is hopefully extremely strong, then you are able to reach out without fear that someone else will consume you or without fear that something else will consume you. And it could be a career or it could be a social circle anything that we kind of take for granted in our lives.

And entwined in that is the ability then to be flexible with our boundaries. So if something needs modification or if we have evolved in a certain way, if our priorities in life have changed then again it’s a confidence thing. It’s a confidence that you know yourself, you know your capacities and you are able to make changes to your life, to your surroundings, to your sphere, to your energy fields as is appropriate.