“The biggest problem with communication is the idea that it has taken place” I love this quote and it neatly sums up what very often goes wrong in relationships.
It’s also all very nicely encapsulated in the song the Sound of Silence, where they say people talking without speaking, people hearing without listening and right there you have the reason a lot of things in life go wrong in between people. Because that’s what we’re doing. We are talking, just talking and it’s all air.
Are we really saying what we want to say? Are we really saying what is in our hearts?
And on the other side of the equation the same problem is occurring. Are people really hearing and listening to what we are saying? And are they interpreting what we’re saying in the manner that it was meant?
So all sorts of tangled webs are inherent in our communication and we’re not even including the different meanings that we put on the words we say. It could mean one thing for you it could mean an entirely different thing for someone else.
So between loaded vocabularies and our own barriers through which we take in information and through which we give out information it’s no wonder that a lot of us find relationships hard work. And I will have another Daily Grain on that entire topic but this is key.
How do you communicate and do you really evaluate your communications? When you say something do you recognize whether that is what you really meant to say? Do you feel it in your heart and then say it or do you say what you think will be acceptable?
Most people actually do think they are telling the truth because their intention is to tell the truth, but because their intention is hijacked by various pressures to either conform or to say right thing or to be considerate of someone else’s feelings, it comes out as something less than the truth.
And as we just demonstrated, all these arbitrary modifications of the truth are never good idea.