Categories : Relationships The Daily Grain


What do you do when people find fault with you?

In the course of coming to consciousness you will reach the point where you will be able to identify very accurately and very quickly whether it’s them or you. And until you reach that point here is what you do.

Very often the advice is to not take things personally. In actuality, whatever comments and feedback that comes at you IS personal. It is a statement about how the other person perceives you or perceives your work or perceives something about you – and that is personal. It is about you.

The distinction is to not allow it to hurt you but take it as just that, take it as a flat piece of information. OK?

So that is Step Number One. Because if you allow feedback coming at you to hurt you or to alter your image of yourself just on the face of it, it may alter your image of itself but we will come to that in a minute, just accept unexaminedly that what they’re saying is gospel truth and Oh gosh! what does it mean and all the rest of the thoughts that it might trigger you lose an opportunity.

So don’t do that. And also in that instance you will react defensively because something has come at you or has attacked an image that you wish to preserve at least for other people. And defensiveness almost always creates more problems than it solves.

So don’t be hurt, don’t go on the defensive but receive it and look at it and what are you looking at it for? You are looking at it for truth.

We’ve had several Daily Grains in which we talked about how to recognize truth but just to quickly recap, you will feel within yourself if something is true or not. And if you don’t know how something feels when it’s true I really recommend you start paying attention and practice how things that are true feel in your soul and in your psyche, how your mind feels as it processes truth and how your mind feels as it processes something else that is not truth. Because this is really, really critical, especially when it comes to what people are saying to you about yourself.

So Number One examine it for truth and if it is true then you have to take the second step which is to think about what you want to do about it. Maybe it is something that would be a good thing to change in yourself or in the way you do things or maybe the person is not a good match for you and their expectations are more than what you want to change in yourself.

So a true thing could have many different actions attached to it only you are going to be able to say which ones are the best ones for you to undertake.

And if it is not true then you have got to think about what that says about the other person. Why are they telling you things that are not true about yourself? For what purpose? And what does it say about how they feel about you and what their intentions for you are? OK?

So from now onwards, every bit of feedback that comes at you about yourself, take it on board, consider it quite objectively for all these things and then clear your life.

Either clear things in yourself that you wish to or clear people who are badly intentioned towards you out of your life.