Things we should refrain from or eliminate: misery and martyrdom are highly overrated. #beyourownguru #BYOG
So while we’re on a roll off things we should refrain from or eliminate, let me say this, misery and martyrdom are highly overrated.
And that’s a fact.
Because we are told through religion, through psychology that suffering has a purpose. Suffering has meaning. And so therefore we should be OK with suffering.
And in some instances people actively invite it into their lives, maybe not consciously, but unconsciously, and then they tolerate it in their lives because of all those beliefs – that there is some meaning in it, and they will somehow benefit from it in the hereafter and all the sort of stuff.
Well! If all those beliefs help you to get through a tough spot and, you know, everyone every so often has a tough spot, then that’s fine. But there’s no reason on the planet to perpetuate misery and martyrdom.
Because if you’re miserable that’s an indication, a strong indication that you should do something, anything, differently.
Because our default position is actually joy.
If you consider instances in your life, your best work, your best self has come forward when you’re joyful, when you’re happy, when you’re peaceful, when you’re secure, right?
It just is.
When you’re unhappy you make awful decisions, because you are making a decision from weakness, from desperation.
Misery requires an immediate adjustment in something, either your own attitude or your situation or whatever you find to hand. Use it. Pull yourself up. Come out of it.
And martyrdom is not necessarily physical martyrdom, though it definitely includes that, but it’s martyrdom in ways where we take care of others or we sacrifice with others, sorry sacrifice for others at great cost to ourselves.
Not a good idea.
And it’s not a question of being selfish or not. It’s a question of having resources within yourself to deploy as you see fit.
If you are constantly martyring yourself for some cause, or belief or the other you are slowly but surely depleting your own resources. And you will slowly but surely reach a point where misery is a constant companion.
And, as we said earlier, that is not good!
That is not the way life is meant to be lived. No no no! No matter how many times other people tell you it is so.
So abandon misery and martyrdom and reach for joy and reach for comfort. Because that is where life begins and that is where life should be.