Talking about things that are fleeting and transient let’s talk about it in relation to relationships actually and I particularly want to talk about this whole issue of possessiveness and jealousy, that’s a bug bear in a lot of relationships.
They, both these things, stem from one thing and one thing only and that is a sense of ownership. Where one party believes that they own the other person because they are in a relationship. And by the way, this myth is perpetuated by society in the form of marriage and committed partnerships and all that good stuff. And also in the notion that everyone *should* be in a relationship or it says something XYZ said about them.
Anyway, that’s for another time. So back to possessiveness and jealousy and ownership. The reality is that you do not, you cannot own another human being. It’s as simple as that.
Not by yelling, or shouting or having a document to prove it.
Because people must be their own person and at the end of the day and in the long run they will be their own person. Unless something really unhealthy happens.
But the only reason a relationship should begin and survive and thrive is that both parties benefit from it, both parties want it to be so and it’s great for both of them. It is as simple as that.
And which ever form that relationship takes that is for two people to decide and should one of them decide it’s no longer to their benefit then they should exit.
When you have possessiveness and jealousy coming into the picture it really begs the question what is going on in that relationship?
Why should one person assume that the other person has to behave in a certain sort of way?
And it is actually one those things that are never reasonable. Really. Not much justification in it at all. Because like I said, it is based in a fundamental fallacy that that person belongs to you.
I will talk about a sense of belonging in another Daily Grain and that is quite valid, but that stems from the other party.
So possessiveness and jealousy no, no, no. Never a good thing.