So as a nice continuation of yesterday’s discussion on compartmentalizing things, today let’s talk about boundaries. You have probably heard a great deal about boundaries and how we should set them and why we should set them, so let’s take a look at that.
The most critical thing from a consciousness point of view is that you are aware of your boundaries. Are you?
Do you know very, very definitely where you end and where other people start?
This is in every aspect. It’s in how much you are willing to help someone, and of course, also, these boundaries are different with different people, right? So it requires a very, very clear understanding of yourself as a person to be able to ascertain where these boundaries are and to be able to understand your own feeling when someone is approaching the external limit of one of your boundaries.
Most often we don’t understand this and this is why we have boundaries being infringed, people pushing the envelope and then we suddenly blow up because we realize after the fact that, Woah! we didn’t really want to go their or we didn’t really want to go that far.
So first step before even thinking about how to set boundaries and how to be with people, is just to be aware within yourself, aware of your limits, aware of your emotional capacity, aware of your physical capacity, aware of your psychological capacity.
So if you look at it in monetary terms as an easy example, if you have $100 in your wallet then you don’t want to be spending more than that hundred if you don’t have any other resources from somewhere else, right?
So, you can think of boundaries like this, actually.
What is in your emotional budget? What is in your psychological budget? How much of stress can you take? How much of emotional pain can you take? How much of spiritual pain can you take?
If you are very aware that this is my cutoff point, then you will be less likely, shall we say, to get into situations that push you past your cutoff point.