Categories : Relationships The Daily Grain


I see a lot of this around on the net, in relationship forums, in people’s life stories – this concept of unrequited love – where they love someone who doesn’t love them back and what to do and how to get them to love me, how to get them to notice me.

And again, this could be groups of friends, this could be a social circle, again not restricted to romantic relationships.

I have one piece of advice and it is this: move right along.

If somebody doesn’t love you, if a social group does not accept you, that says more about them than you. And truly, do you really want to waste precious time and energy pursuing something that is not pursuing you?

Never mind the reasons why.

This is the problem or the challenge for a lot of people because they then see that as being a judgment on themselves, and it could be, that’s for you to analyze and figure out, and there are other Daily Grains that deal with that, where you feel people pointing fingers at you.

So that’s besides the point.

Regardless of the reasons and regardless of your own analysis of what you can do about those reasons, this is the bottom line: if you encounter a brick wall there is absolutely no point hitting your head against it. You’re just going to get a headache, in more ways than one. An existential headache and that’s never recommended.

So what ever joys and dreams the object of your unrequited love might hold for you, they are not going to come to fruition, right? Because the other party has rejected it.

It only exacerbates the wound and deepens your sense of rejection or hurt or feelings of being less than if you keep pursuing it. Just move right along.

If it has any basis or any true foundation, you will be able to return to it at some point in life. But hanging on to something that is not proving itself to be reachable, is… actually, that’s the definition of insanity, right?

So don’t be so.